“Is 38 years old too old to attend your first rave?” – Valentine’s Day 2026

Valentine’s Day as a single man…wait, no, come back! Let me get this paragraph out before you assume it’s just gonna be a sulkfest…stinks. And many single people will often wonder what they’ve done (or haven’t) to get themselves to that point. They spend the holiday wondering what they could do differently and ultimately vowing that next year won’t be the same. Heck, you can go through my Facebook posts from years past and see for yourself. It’s either me sulking because I feel I’ve earned the right to (as if self-deprecation is a reward at the end of a long journey…man, what a shitty journey THAT must be) or trying to put a brave face but leaving obvious cracks in the mask. But ultimately, that thought will still break through the walls of many single people on Valentine’s Day; the thought of “What did I do wrong?” or “What can I do differently?”

Instead I had a different thought in my head this past Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2026:

“Is 38 too old to be attending your first rave?”

(Yeah! See? Not a sulkfest! You gotta trust me when it comes to affairs of the writing variety!)

That was the thought in my head a mere 15-16 hours ago, as I type this. My legs still feel like Jello, and my ears still contain that slight spice of temporary tinnitis. That’s how tinnitis works, right? I’m still not sure my energy is all back as I ride the high of a Sparkling Ice Caffeine, with all the caffeineenergy sauce (thanks Homestar Runner!) to make you feel like MAAAYBE you can get through the day without that power nap (but DAMN does that power nap feel tempting).

And if I could do it all over again…..I certainly would. Though maybe I make a few different moves.

NakaKon is a convention in Kansas City I’ve been a fan of for many years now. I could go into my story about how it took me 4 years to go to my first one and how finances and work schedules and COVID wiped out the first 3 attempts at me going but…..oh, look at that. That’s basically the story right there.

NakaKon is focused on Japanese culture. Be that anime, gaming, music, traditions, etc. If you’re into a sliver of it, Naka probably has a branch on its tree for it.

A couple years ago I made a real effort to become a part of this community, and eventually found myself a regular contributor to its social channels and eventually a moderator on their Discord server (for as long as Discord is still around, as much as Discord wants to run themselves into the ground). I’ve made a lot of remote friends through my involvement and participation, but never met a whole lot of them in-person.

Naka recently started the “Naka Underground” events, a series of dance parties and social gatherings for people 21+ to attend. And I had some intrepidations in ever attending; would it JUST be people in their lower 20s and I’ll stick out like a sore thumb? Would it be a lot of groups and dates and me showing up solo dolo was just a horrible idea?

And the big question: Is this WAY too far out of my comfort zone?

I mean, there’s stepping out of your bubble and seeing what the world has out there, but is this just too much? Am I WAY too out of my element for such a thing?

I told a ton of friends of mine I was doing, but a couple of friends in particular took vested interest; one who we in the Naka scene lovingly refer to as “Momo”, and my friend Sam. Both of whom have always been encouraging of me stepping out of my comfort zone, though sometimes maybe a little too much “diving into the deep end” for my comfort. These weren’t the ONLY people encouraging me, but they seemed to be the two most “dealt-in”.

Valentine’s Day rolled around and I knew they would both hold me accountable if at this point I stepped out. And the urge to do so was there. Yes, I could stay home, make lame attempts to fill in the Saturday Valentine’s evening, probably end up self-deprecating (or as my friend Becca calls it, “Self-Defecating”, because you’re talking shit on yourself). Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. But….that was just it. Same as it ever was. My comfort zone left intact. No expanding my horizons, no stresses, no weird encounters, no making an ass out of myself and possibly having this new community figure out how much of a drooling neanderthal I truly am, like so many communities had before (at least, I felt….though, maybe not).

But I knew I needed to do this. I was sick of sulking on a day like this. And I knew the judges I would answer to wouldn’t take it well. “Momo” might give me an encouraging word and “better luck next time” while being at least a little disappointed “next time” wasn’t “THIS time”. And Sam would’ve thrown some playful insults I won’t repeat here, but would have been disappointed I didn’t go. It’s not the first time he’s tried to get me to participate in social events outside my comfort zone. In fact, I kinda wonder if he (or both of them) almost expected me to not take the step. Wouldn’t be the first, second, or third time I’d stayed in my bubble.

At about 10 after 8 I pulled into the parking lot of the Walgreens across the street. I couldn’t find parking in the same block as the building, and their recommended parking was a half-mile away AND cost $12. That’s 2 1/2 times what my cover charge would’ve been to get to the rave! Fortunately, the Walgreens across the street didn’t seem to care. Maybe they were used to it, maybe they thought I would be back shortly. Maybe they didn’t know I left the car there. Or maybe they would’ve ticketed my car if I let it sit much longer. I don’t know for sure.

But there I was. Standing in the pitch-black night of Westport, the city lights in the horizon, and the ground still wet from the rain earlier in the day. A slight cool breeze blew, making me wish I at least wore a light jacket. But a flannel jacket at a rave in Westport would’ve made me seem somehow even more out of place. So I went without. I didn’t FULLY regret that decision until later in the night when it was time to go, but…maybe in the future I pick a better coat. Already I’m thinking my hoodie would’ve worked fine. Where the hell did I put that thing?

As I walked up I could hear music blasting but had no idea which door it was coming from. I looked through the windows and my eyes saw a strong contrast to what my ears heard. A bar occupied by a few patrons but hardly a jumping hotspot of rave music and bass shaking the walls. But I couldn’t ignore my lying ears. I looked around and saw a second door that suggested this went upstairs. I had a hunch this was where the action was.

After a jaunt up the steps and an awkward exchange of financials with the front door (thanks to the loud music), I was inside.

Club music walked the tightrope of being torturously loud and just right on a night like this. People jumped, pumped, and swayed to the music. And I……

……stood in the back of the room.

What the hell was I doing here?

This isn’t my music. This isn’t my comfort zone. Nobody here knows me. I have no safety net or wingman here.

After about half an hour of trying to dive off the diving board, I stepped into the restroom and locked the door. I could feel the old doubts pulling at me. Get to the door, get out of here, don’t make such a dumb mistake as showing up to something like this alone ever again. You keep convincing yourself this can end differently, and it never does.

And yet……

I just got here. Why the hell was I already deciding how this night would end? It was just getting started!

I wasn’t going to knock my social walls down in the first minute. I wasn’t going to step out of my bubble right away. I wasn’t going to become a “hit” in the scene by standing on the wall.

The old me would’ve waited forever for things to fall into place before making the move. The new me jams the peg until it fits.

So I bent my knees a little, then moved them around some more, and let the thunderous music do its thing. Matching the tempo and moving my arms just a little (turns out I’m not a big arm-mover), I just rode the vibe out for as long as I felt comfortable.

Before I knew it, there were more people behind me on the floor than in front. I was in, and part of the group. And I was enjoying myself, even if the music wasn’t 1:1 the kind of stuff I listen to at 38.

I did find myself stifling a few social urges. I wanted to high-five someone that was handing them out and seemed to not notice me, but certainly would’ve had I held a hand out. I wanted to compliment the outfit of a woman who bumped into me that I thought looked genuinely cool. But I was already taking baby steps and just…..couldn’t.

As I left at about 10:00, I knew my ears would be ringing the next day from all the loud music I heard. But here I was at the end of Valentine’s Day, and instead of sulking that I was single, I took a step that was so far out of my comfort zone I couldn’t see my comfort zone anywhere. And…..it actually worked out. I had fun, I enjoyed myself, and it sure as shit beat a night in alone, trying to defeat the thoughts in my head.

So to go back to the initial question…..is 38 too old to be attending your first rave?

Who cares, man?

Just, ya know, bring some hearing protection next time (Amazon order already placed).

And next time, I’ll break a few more walls down.

From the vault – Farewell to a Mall

Note 1 – This paper was written by me in 2012 but has been not only a piece I’m proud of but also one I often discuss amongst friends as well. I think it serves as a time capsule for a time when most people had moved on from the Metro North Mall but kept it in their minds, and it’s interesting to see what plans they had that eventually fell through.

Note 2 – When I originally completed this assignment, I had cited Kansas City Star articles copied from microfiche at the Kansas City Library. I turned in printouts of the articles mentioned (as specified in the assignment’s requirements) instead of citing the sources traditionally.I don’t recall the exact dates of the issues of the Star I used, but I wanted to give them at least as much citation as I could.


It becomes almost impossible to imagine that only 12 years ago the Metro North Mall was once a shopping and social haven for old and young alike, and not a place that served the needs of joggers more than anybody. It’s hard to believe the mall contains empty space after empty space and chain fence after metal barricade within the unapologetic neon colors that nobody in their right mind in 2012 would decorate their home with. Many fountains have been emptied of the water, now leaving only the machine that cycled it as if someone dumped a motor in it. Some shops still leave signs of what was there once before; power cords for ovens, tables with chairs attached or shelves and racks for hanging items. Others, such as the Orange Julius, the movie theater and the Fun Factory arcade have been replaced by walls, leaving no signs that they ever existed for years and years in the first place, as if they have been erased from the records. It’s hard for someone who has been to the mall all their lives to see what has become of it. Likewise, it’s tough for someone who sees it now for the first time to see anything but a piece of scenery on the side of the road. What was the Metro North Mall like in its heyday? What is it truly like now? And what does the future hold?

The Past – Fly Away! Spend a day!

The Metro North Mall was constructed throughout the mid-1970s as a shopping mecca for the Kansas City area. Nearly 40,000 attended its grand opening in 1976. The Mall was developed by Sherman Dreiseszun and his nephew Frank Morgan.

Dreiseszun and Morgan both owned and operated several properties throughout Kansas City. When the Metro North Mall opened in 1976, it was the second biggest mall in the Kansas City Area short of the Oak Park Mall, which opened in 1974 and was owned and operated by Dreiseszun and Morgan. Both of them ran several successful businesses within the Metro Area, including the Town Pavilion and One Kansas City Place in the late 80s. They were also successful bank operators, having each been placed on Forbes list of the richest Americans in 1991. A bank scandal eventually hit them hard in the pocketbooks. Frank Morgan would pass away in the early 90s having never confessed to any wrongdoing in the scandal. During this time, Dreisezun lost control of many of the banks he owned, thereby cutting him off from the profits those banks were making. Dreiseszun would eventually confess to crimes of bid rigging and would pay a $375,000 fine and retain control of his banks. He passed away in 2007.

When it opened in September 1976, the Metro North Mall hosted 125 stores and 4 anchor stores across two levels. One aspect of the mall’s original layout shows stores that don’t tend to market themselves towards a youthful crowd. This, along with very few food options for its time show that the Metro North Mall was intended to be a one-stop shopping center first and foremost, and its role as a social hangout wasn’t prioritized. This isn’t to say there weren’t sights to see and places to visit however. A large part of Metro North’s marketing gimmicks have always revolved around balloons. Many people who have visited the Metro North Mall and do so to this day still recall the ironically miniature (though still several feet tall) hot air balloons that would levitate up to a certain level; sometimes only up to the second tier, and sometimes clear to the glass ceiling of the central pavilion, and then float back down gently. These balloons would often change color depending on a theme of the season or holidays; when the 4th of July came near, the balloons would take a patriotic red, white, and blue scheme. During the fall, the balloons would be adorned with a yellow and brown hue to reflect the colors of the season.

The mall has always retained a neon blue scheme to its design. There are neon lights strung out in various places and many of the walls are painted this same neon color, as if you’re in the year 2012 through the eyes of the 1960s. There have always been fountains of various sizes throughout the mall, with the most notable one surrounding the balloons. For years people would toss any change they have into the various fountains, with a few crumpling and throwing dollar bills in.

A mall culture would cultivate in the late 80s and early 90s, with the Metro North Mall starting to cater to that demographic. A large amount of stores began to crop up aimed at a younger market; Spencer’s Gifts offered a large (though sometimes leud) selection of items for teens and young adults. The Disney Store still remains an often-cited memory of the Mall, containing several Disney related items and merchandise, as well as numerous televisions playing Disney films along the black floors and walls. While the Orange Julius always existed in the mall, the Sam Goody candy shop, Topsy’s Popcorn, and Original Pizza offered a wider variety of mall food than when the mall opened with only a couple “food-on-a-stick” joints. Also, the Fun Factory Arcade was a place many youngsters spent time and money at. Many of these places, along with the movie theater (while it was around, a murder within one of the 6 theaters shut the place down with no plans to reopen) kept the mall running strong. While many of these places sound like typical mall mainstays, it was close to a large amount of people that were interested in such a place and had nothing near them that offered what the Metro North Mall did. As well, the KC Metro busses always have stopped at Metro North (and still do), so a simple bus ride and spare time is all a young person would need to travel there.

[Redacted] often visited Metro North during the mall culture’s prime. He said he visited around once a week on average, and was usually there on Fridays after school. When I showed him a map of what the Metro North Mall had when it first opened in the 70s, he remarked that the stores were a lot more adult oriented in comparison to Spencer’s, Topsy’s Popcorn, Software Etc. (now known as GameStop), Mr. Bulky’s, KB Toys, and so on that lined the mall in the 90s and early 2000s.

[Redacted]’s lasting memory is of the atmosphere. “You had parents yelling at their kids and how it echoed through the halls. You could walk by the Fun Factory and hear all the games making noises. And there was that chill-out mall music that you’d never want to put on your iPod, but it just fit the place so well”.

As time went on though, many stores in the mall started to depart. Many people attribute Zona Rosa’s construction to the downfall of the Metro North Mall and while that must certainly be considered, it was hard not to see the signs even beforehand to [Redacted]. “Did Zona Rosa run it out? It was on its way out already. People always crave new stuff, and the Metro North Mall had trouble delivering in competition with many other fronts such as Tiffany Springs and the Boardwalk, as well as Zona Rosa. But I promise you, Zona will arrive at the same point in almost the same amount of time as Metro North did, and Tiffany Springs and the Boardwalk will shut down even before that”. [Redacted] also has his own theories to things that could have contributed to the Mall’s downturn. “It only takes a few stores to shut down. Usually people will go to a store with only one destination in mind and decide to check the other store’s items in the process. It would only take a few of the stores with more regular customers to close down or move for people to just stop going to the mall altogether”.

In 2001 a project began for a food court in the Metro North Mall to be built where an old 6-screen movie theater was. This forced the mall to shut down many of the restaurants within so they could be rebuilt as part of the court. However, this project would never be completed, and all of the restaurants involved would not be relocated within the mall or reopened in their previous spots. As development of Zona Rosa started to near completion, many stores left not only the Metro North Mall, but Barry Road altogether. Both Dillard’s and JCPenny would leave for much nicer stores either within Zona Rosa or nearby Tiffany Springs. The entire Montgomery Wards corporation was shut down, which left a vacancy within their anchor of the mall. This left only The Jones Store, which eventually left and became Macy’s. Macy’s was in fact around when the mall originally opened as well, leaving a small bit of full-circle irony to the life of The Metro North Mall as it stands today.

The Present – “As If Time Stopped”

The Metro North Mall is still open to this day, but it is undoubtedly a far cry from what once existed before. You can tell on the drive up to Metro North that things just feel off. The instant feeling you get from seeing gigantic parking lots with only about 10 cars each parked in them gives an eerie feeling to say the least. And that’s if you park in the lots connected to Macy’s. A drive around to the lots that connect to the former anchor stores contain even less cars, often times not a single car at all. The buildings around the mall that received business from mallgoers have become scenery. Two auto shops as well as a movie theater in the back of the mall property are all closed. Even across the street the lack of business is evident. What once was another movie theater eventually became a church, but has also shut down as well. And recently the Best Buy store that had resided there for years and years shut its doors as well. The other smaller stores and restaurants have either cycled around for some time, or have seen the bare minimum of business it takes to keep it around. It’s as if somebody took a decrepit mini-mall and increased its size tenfold without actually adding anything to it.

Within the mall itself, the theme continues. Store after store has been shut down, leaving little subtle hints as to what was there before. Where TCBY once stood near the central pavilion still contains white tiles with random blue and red tiles scattered, a signature of the franchise’s style. The Disney Store’s old storefront still uses a neon blue and pink color scheme and still has the black floors and ceiling inside, but they contain health supplement ads from the still-open GNC center inside the marque instead of advertisements and related merchandise for Disney’s next theatrical offering. The Orange Julius opened along with the mall and was the final store of those that originally inhabited the mall to shut down, with the area now covered in a wall with a wooden door in the middle with no hint as to what could be behind it. Though this is often a sign of construction, this wall has remained up for many years now with no advertisement of an oncoming business. Safe to assume its bit the dust. A Topsy’s popcorn that is only opened during the holiday season is the only place to purchase any food in the mall anymore.

The mall is still open, but the market within has become incredibly niche. Unless you are looking for something incredibly specific, you really don’t have any financial business being in the Metro North Mall itself aside from the Macy’s anchor store. Kay Jewelers still stands near the central pavilion, even if its workers probably spend more time standing idly and chatting amongst themselves than with customers. The aforementioned GNC store that sells vitamins and health supplements still stands down one wing of the mall, with “The Wig Shoppe” still standing a few fronts down. This was a store me and my friends would always joke about, that there was no way it would stay opened longer than the stores we frequented. Seeing the wood panels, the orange sign that begins with a grammatically incorrect lowercase “t”, and all the merchandise popcorned all around the cramped store makes me feel like karma spent 10 years sharpening its fangs before biting me in the ass.

The most prevalent of people in the store anymore are mallwalkers, specifically during the Winter and Summer seasons. Many of them dressed in loose t-shirts and windbreaker pants, they simply graze the perimeter of the climate-controlled store, not needing to worry about temperature or precipitation. They pay little attention to the locked up storefronts as they walk/speedwalk right by. It’s hard telling whether they care or if they’re just so used to the sight that they can ignore it. Most of these people can be found on the second floor of the mall, where even though only an Eyemasters and Hair California still exist, the entire perimeter of the mall is accessible, unlike the bottom floor where the area for the nonexistent food court is still blocked off.

It’s still amazing that so much care is put into this place even due to the severe lack of business. Floors are still clean, trash isn’t stacked up, nothing is knocked over. You can still see janitors walking the floors, sweeping dust, and picking up loose trash, as if their jobs wouldn’t change whether Metro North sees 30 or 30,000 people in a day. It’s as clean as it was in its prime, maybe even cleaner. Many of the visitors still sit at the gigantic stairway in the middle of the mall and watch the balloons. Though instead of eating and/or checking their merchandise, it only serves to reflect. You can hear the balloons hit the hot air jets that protrude from the fountain, even though the jets themselves are almost silent. The sounds of Eric Church and other country singers fill the air now, a far leap from the gentle mall music, as if the mall wants to remind you you’re in a rundown part of town, and not in a mirrored, neon utopia. You can even hear the Sirius commercials kick in if you listen hard enough, which is puzzling considering the Muzak service is still quite commonly used even among smaller businesses, such as the Big V Country Mart in my hometown of Smithville. There is also a bird that has made its nest inside a plant in the mall and flies around the central fountain, even willing to eat food from people sitting on the steps willing to offer it. It all contributes to the eerie aura of the mall, as if you’re trespassing in an area that’s about to be destroyed and you need to leave immediately.

The Future – Rediscovering the “Pleasure of Shopping”

The Metro North Mall’s official website does indeed provide information of a rebuilding process. However, details on this are blurry at best. Their description of the re-launch provides a lot of rhetorical statements. This website states that redevelopment is to begin this year, 2012, with construction completing in 2014. They also claim the renovated mall will be 103 acres of land, which is noteworthy due to the size of the current mall taking up 105 acres. There were proposals of the mall being turned into an outdoor area similar to Zona Rosa, but when Dreiseszun passed away the project was scrapped. A friend of [Redacted]’s who also works at the Metro North Mall has stated to him that they are “redoing everything” though he could not go into further details, and that he honestly believed Zona Rosa was in for some real competition.

The Oak Park Mall was in similar straits but recently finished a rebuilding of its own and is now enjoying a large amount of success, with almost every lot in the store occupied by a business. It is possible that a similar reconstruction could provide similar results. However, there have been many obstacles to clear in the process. There is still an ongoing conflict between the old Dillard’s property and the Metro North Mall. This would seem like an easy conflict to solve if Dillard’s was not backed by ZR Metro, the firm that owns the rival Zona Rosa shopping district that Dillard’s now occupies. And while construction is said to be ready to begin in 2012, a sign outside Topsy’s popcorn claims that they will return during the upcoming holiday season of 2012. Unless construction is going to take place in segments and not all at once (which is difficult to believe if the mall is aiming for a 2014 relaunch), then this would not be possible. Also, while Metro North claims other stores have signed on to become a part of the mall and replace the vacant anchor stores, no corporation has stepped up and said they are involved.

However, while doing research for this article I did stumble upon one interesting discovery. There is a website devoted to bringing Von Maur, an outlet store whose closest branch resides in Overland Park, to the new Metro North Mall. This appears to be an official site, as it is linked to Von Maur’s official page and includes quotes from the President of the Northland Regional Chamber and from a Legislative Aid to Kansas City. Most noteworthy are concept photos of what the store would look like inside a renovated Metro North Mall. Right now, these are the only verified photos hinting the visual appearance of the New Metro North project.

[Redacted] however, sees a different image. “I think the delays in reopening will continue, and eventually an entirely new shopping district will pop up and either force Metro North to get its act together or fold up and go home for good”. That being said, he is optimistic that a renovated Metro North could succeed “Part of me hopes they keep the corny tiles and the neon, just to keep it unique. I also wonder if they will keep with tradition and have the balloons, and finally get that food court done…if there is a good Metro North Mall in the winter, especially during a brutal winter and around Black Friday, Zona Rosa would take a humongous hit from it”.

It would be incredibly easy to de-value what the Metro North Mall represented. And yes, it could be interpreted as a defeat for capitalism and so on. With all of that being said, it takes something beyond words to describe a ghost mall such as this, where there’s no guarantees of a non-bleak future. This mall, over its nearly 40 years of existence has taken a life of its own, a character of its own. All that’s left to wonder is if the Metro North Mall has a Rocky Balboa ending of an old dog learning new tricks, or if it’s just a matter of time before all that’s left is what once was.

Statement of Intent

Nothing sucks more for a creative than having the idea and not being able to pull from the mental abyss.

That’s the trap I feel like I’ve been in the last few months.

I love writing more than I have in a very long time, and I’m itching to “create” more than ever. Having ideas and not succeeding in getting them out there will do that.

But sometimes…well…oftentimes, it’s difficult to see them through. Which is the trap I find myself in now.

I thought maybe if I made a point to write more often, I’d force myself to get those ideas out.

I thought if I paid for a blog site and a URL, I’d force myself to get those ideas out.

I thought maybe if I cut down on my social media presence (something I want to make a goal to cut even more in 2026) and used my blog as my primary outlet for what’s on my mind (similar to the Xanga days of the mid 2000s that seeded my love of writing to begin with), I’d force myself to get those ideas out.

And as you can see from the last date I updated, I’m not exactly succeeding in that regard.

Ultimately, I feel like maybe I’m trying to use this outlet as a gallery of COMPLETED work. Stuff I want to take pride in. Stuff I’m confident WILL NOT fail. I hate to make it sound like I only want to do it for the attention, but there’s really no way to sugar-coat it that doesn’t come off that way. So I suppose that’s exactly what it is.

I remember watching a video awhile back that said when you create art, “that art is for you” and promised “that is enough”. And……I guess, in the process, that voice saying “this isn’t worth the effort”, “the juice isn’t worth the squeeze”, “nobody will like this”, just can’t be drowned out. Or at least, I’m having trouble doing so right now.

I want to find my lane and stick to it as well. Another obstacle I feel like I have is I constantly flip through the same cycle of ideas and don’t just lock in on one and stay there. I want to write creatively, I want to work on research topics, I want to do poetry, I want to stream, I want to record videos, etc. etc. etc. I won’t specifically name them here, but an ex-friend of mine had the same issue and I’d criticize him for always going through this loop of “Idea A → B → C → A → B →C” ad infinitum. But it dawns on me that in my own head, I’ve done the same thing. And, strike against me, at least he actually PRODUCED something. Where the hell is MY homework?

So maybe this blog needs to not be the gallery, but the lab. Maybe I just need to put fingers-to-keyboard-to-signal-to-pixels and let the fiber internet lowercase-g gods sort it out. I mean, it worked on Xanga.

I actually still have those posts saved somewhere. I’ve always been afraid to go back to those posts. The musings of an emo teen at a time where he felt he didn’t belong (which, in retrospect, was correct but not to the extent I thought) and tried to find whatever way he could to put it down on something. Yes, I’m sure with years of writing experience and a college education I’d find that shit awful now in the name of quality, but at least that version of me was doing something with his writing. Which is a little more than the adult with a writing degree and no portfolio can say, as brutal as that sounds.

So back to the lab again I suppose. And maybe we just throw things at the wall and prey that they stick. And if/when they don’t, we throw something else. And we do it in a lab with glass windows rather than a completely closed environment. Do things stick to glass better than…lab-wall material? Can I pretend the answer to that is yes?

Random Tidbits From My First Days at the High School

  • Being back at Price Chopper on Wednesdays (even if it’s not the same store) was nostalgically fun…..for about 10 minutes.  I AM glad most Cosentinos stores do shifts on different tasks now.  With all due respect to my former co-workers, there was WAY too much “bailing” on things and not prioritizing what needed done.  They always threatened to start doing “shifts” and those of us that COULD prioritize were always like “…….that’s a bad thing?”  Being one or two workers short because they split during a rush to do other things is silly.
  • My feelings about the song aside, Owl City’s “Fireflies” being pitch-corrected to dodge content ID tags has MUCH different energy than the original song.
  • I really do think farming could be something the younger generation could get into if there wasn’t so much “old blood” running the shows about 10-20 years behind where it could easily be.  Maybe that’s just my exposure to midwest farm culture, but it truly feels like an industry that could take off with some practical modern innovations, but too many people that could make it happen aren’t willing to.  It genuinely feels like it’s just a matter of “unwilling”, not “unable”.
  • Being done for the day and back home by 3-3:30ish makes up for being up so early.  It just doesn’t feel like it when you’re up so early.
  • I am finally getting to the point where getting up that early doesn’t feel so “early”, but it does still throw me off when it feels like it should be 10 or 11 and it’s only 9-9:30.
  • Where were “Boomwackers” when I was a kid?
  • That being said, having Boomwacker videos where the point the note is supposed to be played changes from video to video is aggravating to me and nobody else ever I’m sure.  First-world paraprofessional problems.
  • Having our classroom as “The Apartment” is so awesome.  Having a scale studio apartment with a living area, kitchen, bed, etc. is so neat.  You almost forget at times you’re in a classroom.  But it also works right into what we’re trying to teach our students.
  • Having a rare retro videogame system in our room that doesn’t read games but otherwise functions fine makes me sad. I ALMOST feel obligated to try and get it fixed, even out of my own pocket, just to preserve a not-very-common piece of gaming history.
  • Boy howdy, am I getting my steps in each day. I’m hitting 8K before 3 PM. Heck, on days we go out of the school it’s not uncommon for me to hit 10K before 3PM.
  • Man, even a month in (or 19 school days as the instructor I assist pointed out today…..holy smokes 19 days…..), the Phase One part of the building still feels like a space ship compared to where I went to High School. Heck, it feels like a space ship compared to Maple Woods, and I remember Maple Woods feeling cutting edge when I went there.
  • I am where I belong.

Back to s’cool!

The last day of my last weekend off before I return to work.

It’s so weird to be my older age and have these long periods of having work off, but that’s part of working at a school. I anticipate if/when I become a teacher my Summers will be a lot more activity-filled. And to be honest, this Summer felt a lot faster than last year. I went so long I genuinely started forgetting the daily regiment. Though being in a new class helped with forgetting the old regiment too.

This year, I’m moving to a whole new building. I’m heading up to the High School, with a new staff member and working with a much different age group then before. In fact, I don’t think it’s possible to have a sharper change in age group in the school district; from kindergartners to 18-21 year olds. But it’s a change I welcome and look forward to.

I worked Fridays at the High School this past Spring and took to it a lot better than I thought I would. When I first was considering being a para, I wanted to work with younger kids so much more since I had helped out with babysitting youngins’ over the years before. I thought for sure older students wouldn’t be the best fit. Oddly enough, I always thought if I taught, the opposite would be the case. I’m no math whiz, I always mess something up with science…but I feel comfortable with my writing (ya know, blog and wordy statuses and DMs and all that), and teaching younger children the finer points of writing……….yeah, that doesn’t click.

But here we are. A new experience, a new me.

I just hope the good will I’ve built in the last year in finding my stride and the work I did at the High School didn’t give the wrong idea. The “imposter syndrome” is real right now, if I’m taking too big a bite out of all this. But at the same time, there’s nothing to it but to do it. Who knows? Maybe this time next week, before we even have kids, I’ll feel like I’m ready to take on the world? That’d be nice.

In the meantime, I’ll enjoy this final day of my break……OK, well, there’s tomorrow too, but who considers Mondays a break, right?

“Whatever tomorrow* brings I’ll be there, with open arms and open eyes.”
* – or Tuesday, whatevs.

You are loved, you are appreciated, and you matter.

Progress Report

It wasn’t my intention to take this much time off of the blog, but I am still working on a major post. It’s something that’s LONG overdue, and a post I think a lot of people will appreciate me sharing.

I know I’m known for having major buildup for stuff like this, but I have begun work on the post; I’ve already outlined it and have begun plucking away at it. It’s just rather long.

In the meantime, I’m a month away from going back to work at Platte County High School. A new challenge, but one I have no doubt in my mind I can answer.

I also recently began a “positivity journal”, one I bought at the recommendation of a friend. It gives me new prompts whenever I use it, and while it’s supposed to be a “5 minute” one, I find myself rarely stumbling on questions and being done in a few minutes. But, each time I do it, even when (perhaps “especially when”) I’m down, it brings me back up.

The concept of “count your blessings” it’s typically taught when we’re little and has some major religious connotations, but it does help quite often. Count your victories, even if they’re small ones.

Eureka, I reka, we all reka

So earlier this week, I booked a trip to Eureka Springs, Arkansas. For sure, I’ll be making a post about my trip (both during and after the fact), but it’s wild for me to be booking a camping/wilderness-ish trip. In (what feels like) a former life of mine, I H-A-T-E-D camping so much. I’d always dream of visiting cities specifically. I remember dreaming about Las Vegas as soon as I left it, and imagining the likes of New York or Tokyo. Bright lights, big city.

And anytime I ever went camping I was miserable. I was too stuck in my tech withdrawals and found the outdoors drier than the Mojave (both where I was and the outdoors in general……you get it, you get it). I even took a couple trips to Wyoming where my most favorite part was the end. No, not how we ended the trip, but when we pulled into the driveway and I was DONE with that shit.

I don’t know. Maybe the outdoors appeals to me more now. I’ve always thought I’d enjoy the outdoors more if I didn’t burn on contact to sunlight and if my blood wasn’t to mosquitos what hot dogs are to Joey Chestnut.

But I’m actually looking forward to the downtime, the disconnecting (for the most part), the outdoors, the unplanned “adventuring”.



One last bonus for the week: I have an official URL for the blog now! You can visit this very page by going to “justedthings.blog”. Bookmark it.

A Few of my Favorite Things I – Game Changer

“The only way to learn is by playing. The only way to win is by learning. And the only way to begin is by beginning.” – Sam Reich

Growing up in the late 90s and 00s, a lot of the theater/more hipster-y friends I knew would watch “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”. Originating in the U.K. (though the U.K. version would only have a run in Comedy Central after the U.S. iteration took off), it went through a series of hosts as the years went on but I think most of us reading this were familiar with the version hosted by Drew Carey. A comedy “game show” where the “rules are made up and the points don’t matter”, it consisted of creating improvisational (“improv”) comedy scenes for the comedian cast to play out. While comedy skit shows weren’t new and performing in front of a live audience was a well often tapped into (especially in this time where sitcoms were in a golden era), improv comedy was a new slant that general audiences were unfamiliar with.

These improv exercises played out in the form of different “games”, and the host awards point values for whatever they might feel like in the moment, whether those reasons are tied to the quality of the performances or just complete non-sequitors. The concept of looking to an audience for ideas and having actors play it out without prior knowledge and seeing if/how they swim is a common exercise on improv stages throughout, and it stands to reason “Whose Line-” popularized the concept (though it likely took that idea from improv exercises itself). Long time cornerstone of the cast, Colin Mochrie had stated on the “Conversations with Ross” podcast that the concept of the show was to introduce general audiences to the concept of improv, and the show becoming an “end-all” was not the intention. But be it having to create new objects out of props, or taking different identities to create a dating profile, the quick-hit games would typically led to pretty clever results, with only the rare stumble which….actually was also funny. You’d see the players keep the flow so often that it was hilariously off-beat when they fell off beat too.

Originally premiering in 1998 on ABC, “Whose Line-” ended up being the foundation for what many people in this day and age as improvisational comedy. And it still runs today on The CW Network.

However, there is an undeniable “rose-tint” to how people view “Whose Line-“. And to be honest, trying to watch current episodes versus older ones, I’m not sure where the quality drop is. It’s definitely there, in my opinion. I don’t think it’s the goofy, sexist idea that Aisha Tyler has tanked the show. I don’t think the actors, many of whom are longtime cast members, have lost their touch. Maybe the show having been on ABC Family and having to tone down from the old clips you could find on YouTube from the show’s prime has a hand in it? Maybe I’ll come back to it.

It might surprise you that I’ve spent so many words (400+ up to now) discussing this show and not the show listed in the title.

If you’re a fan of improv comedy, a fan of “Whose Line”, or…hell, if you’re a skeptic of improv comedy and want to see the art practiced at its top-shelf best, get ready for a “Game Changer”.
—–

“Game Changer” is also an improv comedy show under the guise of a game show. Hosted by Sam Reich, the CEO of CHMedia (the parent comedy of Dropout, formerly CollegeHumor), “Game Changer” is at the very least strongly inspired by “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” but runs in a different yet refreshing direction.

Instead of a multitude of games across an episode, each episode of “Game Changer” is centralized around one single theme with the concept being changed or manipulated as the episode goes on. While this can sound a bit exasperated when compared to the quick-hits of “Whose Line-”, I can attest that without spoiling some of the best episode ideas and twists, a single concept can often lay the foundation for tons of insanity that hits a new gear just when you think the pedal is already to-the-floor. From a game of “Simon Says” constantly twisted to trick contestants, to an escape room, it’s a blast to see what Sam and the cast come up with any given week. There’s even extremely elaborate game setups and scenarios that I would be doing a great disservice spoiling here. Just know that on occasion, in ways you won’t see coming, you as the viewer won’t always be “in the loop” looking out on those that aren’t.

And the theming of each episode goes extra levels as well, oftentimes to a very impressive degree. Sam, the crew, the props departments, etc. are always clued in to some extent. It’s not just a “game” thrown in and they work around Sam arbitrarily applying loose rules. Episodes with elaborate sets, sometimes including studio audiences, and even episodes that take place off-set in different parts of the studio are of the norm here. If it’s in front of a camera, if it’s in the studio, it’s Sam’s playground. And the contestants will most certainly play.

The contestants, similar to “Whose Line-“, also consist of various actors and improv comedians. While it is fun to see these concepts (of which contestants are, with a few exceptions, NOT briefed on prior to the show beginning) throw these cast members off, each one shows the know-how and comedic/improv timing to adapt. You’re not watching performers to see if they pass or fail at navigating the stormy waters, you’re seeing HOW they’ll navigate them. The contestants switch off very often, but each one will tend to have at least a couple you’ll fall for, if not everyone involved. Highlights for me include super-nerd (and host of a Dungeons and Dragons themed show on Dropout) Brennan Lee Mulligan, Ally Breadsley and Isabella Roland hit home runs over everybody’s head, and Jacob Wysocki feels like me pulled from another reality where I don’t suck all the eggs at improvisational comedy and made the Improv-athon team.


On top of that, you see a clear camaraderie between the host, Sam Reich, and the performers on the show. This isn’t someone inviting random people who haven’t proven their comedy chops or haven’t worked with Sam before. Sam knows what clicks with his contestants and feeds into that while also trying to throw curveball after curveball, and have each one curve differently. In doing this, the show delicately walks the line between playing right into the contestants wheelhouses and making the game too easy, and forcing the performers to adapt and adjust to the conditions of the game being played in that episode. And in turn, Sam (and the audience) are even thrown for a loop by what the contestants can come up with. Sam is as much an audience member and fan as he is a host, even though he knows where the episodes bodies lie at any given moment.

And while the show does keep score, the “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” element of being comedy-first is still present. Winning is tertiary, and it’s refreshing to see the performers play to have fun and for laughs than to strategically “win”. The prizes are almost always (with a few exceptions) goofy things like a one-time-use Keureg machine, a gas card, etc. It’s never so crazy that the contestants drop having fun and enjoying working with one another to “compete”. And there are a few times where the prizes are grand, but they’re usually tied to games of grander design and certainly have no strings attached at all………….I realize winks don’t translate well to text, and I feel too uppity to resort to emojis on this here blog/journal/website thingie.

Put it all together, and you come up with what I think is one of the funniest shows on any televised/streaming media right now. It does get R-rated for certain (and sometimes the game theme will play into that, such as Sam asking the players to say something the show will have to bleep), but we’re all adults here. And don’t expect anything ignorant or ableist here; we’re just immature adults, we’re not assholes here.

“Game Changer” is the natural evolution to “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” and is absolutely worth your time if you’re looking for elite-tier improv comedy, or comedic insanity in the guise of a gameshow that the host is only loosely holding in his iron grip.

—-

“Game Changer” can be watched on the DropOut streaming network:

https://www.dropout.tv/game-changer

If you want to check the show out for yourself aside from the snippets you’ve seen here, there are a handful of full episodes available to watch on YouTube:

Crossing the [state] line

WHAT A WEEK….

I was planning on writing up a bigger post, and it’s still in the works, but I decided both rushing it and trying to start off with a big post was not the best idea. Work my way up into it. Works for me, and IT’LL WORK FOR YOU, DAMNIT!!!

Earlier this week, me and my friends made a trip over the state line, to the dark side of Kansas (also known as Kansas). What was going to be a two hour or so trip to a few stops became a 6-7 hour marathon, but I’ll be dipped if it wasn’t a fun time for all.

We started off with a trip to Nerd Nation, probably the best mom-and-pop videogame store in Kansas City (haven’t been to ALL of them, so I can’t say for certain). The selection in this store is incredible, and the staff is fantastic. I’ll have much more to say about this place another time, (hence why I’m not divulging too much about how the trip went). I really do owe it to them. And if you’re into retro gaming on any level; looking to pad out a collection or just hunt down a random classic from your childhood, this is the place to be.

After that, we also visited Fred’s Train Shop. One of our friends has had a fascination with model/toy trains since he was little, and we decided to treat him with a trip here. We were thinking it’d be some little dinky shop. OH HEAVENS NO. This was a time capsule in store form. Model trains are an expensive hobby for sure, and this store enforced that (though I came to find most of the prices were more than reasonable considering what they actually go for). I don’t know a Lionel train from a TYCO train, but to see a friend of mine geek out and gasp and get excited so much was so awesome. Catching the secondhand smoke from their own joy vicariously was worth the trip all on its own…..even if I had no clue what he was talking about. I just wish they had a Kansas City Southern shirt in his size, I’d have totally paid for it.

Our final stop was to the Pan-Asia Market. I’m always a sucker for foreign goods, even if just to try out stuff that’s not familiar to my palette and getting to see so many different goods that we typically don’t see stateside outside of snack challenge/weird food tiktoks was great. I also grabbed me some takoyaki and a brown sugar and salted caramel boba tea. Good stuff, even if the combination of those two items probably wasn’t…..proper. If you know, then you know why I don’t need to explain dairy products and “fried squid ball” is a bad combination. And if you don’t know, then….ya know…re-read that last sentence and ask yourself if that combination would play nice in your stomach. Ahhh, the mistakes we make when EVERYTHING on the menu sounds yummy.

All in all, it was a fun time to go with friends and dive into these super-specific niches we all share.

Own that weirdness and find people that’ll abide in it with you, and abide in theirs as they abide in yours. Abide. Abide. If you’re reading this post out loud in your head (just as I’m hearing it out loud in mine as I type), that word is starting to sound funny. Abide.

You are loved, you are appreciated, and you matter.


Check out Nerd Nation at:
6224 Nieman Rd.
Shawnee, KS 66203
https://nerdnation.us/

And check out Fred’s Train Shop at:
8909 Santa Fe Dr.,
Overland Park, KS 66212
https://www.fredstrainshop.com/

Don’t Not Call It a Comeback

“Allow myself to introduce……..myself.” – Austin Powers

Call this me trying to get back into writing. Not the first, second, or third time I’ve given this an honest effort.

Call this me having a fallback when I inevitably get sick and tired of social media; I’m off Twitter, I’m one stupid decision and a messaging app transfer from being off Facebook, and BlueSky isn’t exactly a clear sky itself. You think you NEED it until you go a few days without it, and you realize, no matter how ingrained you think you are in it, you’re really not.

But really, I just wanted an outlet for my thoughts that is within my grasp. If I want to write a short post explaining what this site is gonna be, away I go. If I want to write a LONG novel-sized thought-dump, I’ll go for it. If I want to write a review or endorsement of something I enjoy or even didn’t enjoy, I can. Though I promise, the “RANT TIME!” phase has passed and you will see more positive content out of me, and most of my criticism will go beyond “I don’t like it” foibles and into genuine criticism. And trust me, I graduated from college with a degree in writing; I know the difference between “criticism” and “being an asshole”.

Call this me having a place to cuss, I guess.

But call this my return to writing. Me putting fingers to mechanical keyboard keys printing words on a scr-…OK, now I sound like one of those hokey Oscar speeches. “Moving pictures printed onto film that tell a story”. Maybe someday I’ll win an Oscar, and only then will I EARN THE RIGHT to give that “vegan” speech….while I have a Savage-sized Slim Jim waiting off-stage, but not off-stage enough that the camera doesn’t pick it up. Then it’ll be the most awkward Oscar moment since that guy that sang “Remember Me” from Coco was flat the whole damn time. Oh, and that Will Smith slap thing….I kinda thought the song was much more awkward. Maybe Pixar will present the best animated film Oscar to itself again? Yeah, that happened too.

I get off track, people, that’s what I do.

My name is Edward Pendleton, and a LOT has changed since the last time I wrote regularly. Hell, a lot has changed in the past year since I stopped updating on Facebook regularly. But, perhaps, a lot hasn’t. Perhaps I’ve grown a bit, matured a bit, changed a bit……..but maybe not that much either.

Get in losers, we’re going shopping.